Let's Be Awesome

Fragile little thing called life.

melissaoon — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 15:28:03 +0000

Death is inevitable. It is a part of life. Though it is something that we know of and expect, it is still a very hard fact to accept. However, to quote my favourite bible verse, “to live is Christ and to die is Gain”, death is not necessarily a terrible thing. Yes, we’re sad to lose a loved one but we should also be happy that they have gone to a much better place and we should celebrate the years that they had lived in this world and the time we shared together. As a school band member, I’ve been to quite a number of funerals. It never occurred to me that I will be on the other side of the funeral anytime soon. Well, I had been on the other side of the funeral when my paternal grandfather passed away more than a decade ago. But, I was still young then and I didn’t really understand what was going on. My grandfather passed away recently (mom’s side) and for the first time, I was able to wrap my head around the whole funeral thingy. It wasn’t an overly sombre affair, there was some light moments. One of my cousins was asked to give a eulogy (i guess it’s because she’s the only PhD holder among us). She asked me to give her a sentence describing my grandfather. Honestly, I had a hard time coming up with even a sentence but I did. Everybody just assumed that I had the most memories about my grandfather as I’ve stayed with my grandparents ever since I was born. But sadly, it’s not exactly true. Yes, I have been with them for as long as I live but most of the memories that I had was all post-Alzheimer. They are not exactly fond memories. Nevertheless, I do have fond memories of my grandfather, it all occurred when I was just a child, can’t really remember them clearly. I didn’t know my grandfather very well. All I can remember is an old man, without much memory, lying in bed, yelling out profanities, crying, sad. It’s sad that only after his passing that I found out so much about him, the real him before Alzheimer took him away. During the wake service, my uncle (the youngest one) told stories about my grandfather and all the memories they shared. It’s only then that I learned so much about my grandfather, what a wonderful man, father and grandfather he is. It’s really sad. My grandfather’s death was so unexpected, like tsunami. My mom went to visit him on Saturday and he was perfectly fine. The next day, my mom received a call early in the morning that my grandfather was rally really ill. Since nobody knows what to do, he was sent to the Manjung hospital. There, not even the doctors know what is wrong with him. Their best assumption was that he suffered a stroke. Even that theory was inconclusive. Actually until now I’m still not exactly sure what the c.o.d is. Everything just went downhill from there. My grandfather passed away at midnight (right on the dot), after all his organs started to shutdown. I wasn’t there went he took his last breath, but I was there the whole morning watching life slowly fleets away from him. I was praying hard for him not to die as I know my mom and grandmother will have a very hard time dealing with it. It was really a hard thing to see as he was feeling so uncomfortable and suffering. All these happened so quickly, there’s hardly time to absorb all these in. One moment my family was happily flying to Singapore, next the maid ran away and my grandfather was sent to the old folks home and in a blink of an eye, he passed away. All these happened in a week. It still feels a bit surreal. All we can do now is move on.

This sucks!!!

melissaoon — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 15:24:50 +0000

You know what sucks???PEOPLE!!! People i say…the past couple of days had not been good..I was really looking forward to the trip to Singapore with my family..I was really stoked about visiting the much hyped Universal Studio…the last time I ever been on a holiday was when I was still in primary school…imagine how long I’ve waited for this moment…aside from that, I also got to sit on a freaking airplane for the first time…i was chuffed to bits…so excited (kinda lame, I know) I was totally into the holidaying part, not the social visit part…my mom was looking forward to seeing her beloved big sister and her brothers….the visiting relatives part is not really my cup of tea…me and my cousins don’t really communicate, at all…..so, I drove to KL with my mom and bro on Thursday, leaving my grandparents under the care of the maid…then we fly to Singapore on Saturday afternoon…didn’t really have any time to do stuffs so just stay inside…then, on Sunday, we went to church in the morning…after that, went to visit my aunt and uncle in Woodlands (places in Singapore have really unusual names)…then we proceed to jalan-jalan cari makan..sat on the mrt all the way to Orchard Road…walk around, people watching…as we were on our way back to my aunt’s place, the phone rang…someone called to tell my mom that the damn maid is planning to run away…mom got really worried but there’s nothing she could do as we were so far away…so she started calling people to check on my grandma…then everything went quite for a while…went back for dinner…me and my bro watched football on the tele while my uncle brought my parents to catch a glimpse of F1 at his office….then, the dreaded phone rings again…this time my aunt from sitiawan called to inform us that the damn maid has run away for real….shit…the bad news kept on coming…maid ran,grandma cried,scared to be alone,mom got worried, cried even harder…I just stood there helplessly…those who know me, you should know that when it comes to comforting people, I’m the worst…shit…i mean what kind of human being would leave two old people alone, helpless….it didn’t help the fact that my grandpa was bedridden….so, with the help of some kind people back in Sitiawan, they managed to send my grandpa to the old folks home….aaaargh!!!!then, ‘good’ news kept on rolling in….my grandma fell and knocked her head which made my mom even more sad and inconsolable….i spend the whole night trying my very best to comfort my mom, i don’t think i was any help but I sure didn’t make it any worse…but then my dad has a knack for making things worse every time he opens his mouth..he’s full of ‘sh*t’…..my mom’s brothers and sister were also no help at all…they were all talk and no action….i also spend the whole night trying to book the earliest flight back to KL the next day…since it was really last minute, all the early morning flight was booked so we had to settle with the afternoon flight….then the next day, as we were preparing to go to the airport, the phone rang again….the flight got delayed for an hour…shit….then on the plane, the plane got delayed a few more minutes because of the weather….I’m like, come on!!! we managed to reach KL at about 5pm…then i drove all the way back to Sitiawan and we reached at almost 9pm..it was so freaking tiring….went to lodge a police report…well, that’s all the great misadventure that i get to ‘enjoy’…like they say, ‘shit happens’….my grandma has 5 children but only one has to do all the work while the rest just make phone calls…shit….the worse thing is seeing my mom sad…her kind of sad is not normal sad…it really breaks my heart…it also doesn’t help that she has some issues…anyway, I was abit disappointed at first but then i just move on…Universal Studio ain’t going anywhere…I’m just glad that my grandparents were fine and thank God for watching over them…moral of the story is don’t hire maid unless you’re really desperate….

sunshine and all the fluffy stuffs…

melissaoon — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 14:35:02 +0000

The past few days had been nothing short of awesomeness…watched Step Up 3 and loved every dance sequence…I would definitely watch it again if I could been doing lots of stuffs lately and it really helped me get my mind off things…thank you Jolynn and Stephanie for getting me off my arse and making me exercise…really had fun playing basketball yesterday and tennis today (though my tennis seriously suck like mad)…can’t wait for the next activity as you know, tomorrow’s Hari Raya..so hoping to meet more friends in the next few days…need to stop hiding inside and get some sunlight…also, my mom has stop nagging about finding jobs momentarily so I shall enjoy this holiday in peace:)

Third time’s a charm..

melissaoon — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:24:57 +0000

This will be my third ramblings in three days…woohoo!!! I’m on a roll…at least I’m doing something worthwhile, no??anyway, nothing much has been happening since my last post..I’ve been downloading lots of songs for no particular reasons..been watching lots of movies too..the thing I’m looking forward now is raya…not that I’m celebrating but then I’m looking forward to meeting friends and having some human contact….update on my pathetic job hunting ‘mission’ : I was asked to call up the manager of Alliance Bank (SS15 branch) today and I did…I did it just to please my mom and stop her from lecturing me…I would also like to thank my dad for giving me the wrong number and making call the wrong number the whole morning..no wonder my calls got rejected every single time…also, the manager got so shocked when I called…she kept asking me who gave me her number..I felt like she thinks I’m some sort of stalker for a moment..anyway, throughout the whole conversation, she thought she was talking to a guy, right until she asked me my name…then she’s like, you’re a girl?? I’m like awkwardly laughing…I mean what can i do?I’m born with an ‘awesome’ voice that no one seems to appreciate -_- then she asked me to send her my resume…honestly, my resume sucks…I don’t have any achievements at all…my grades are blah…and I didn’t join any activities in uni…so it’s not impressive at all…people said that in order to get an interview, you must have a killer resume or cv…I’m hoping it’s not 100% true, if not then I’m so screwed….anyhoo, I’m not getting my hopes up cause I don’t think I will hear from her again..I must have scared her off with my ‘awesome’ voice…haha…aside from that, I would really really love to work in Sitiawan…I know it’s lame but I really love Sitiawan…I am and will always be a kampung girl and I’m proud to be one…I’m not very comfortable in the city..I hate traffics and I’m not exactly fond of the people there…what can I say? I just love simplicity…okay then, until next time..muahahaaha *feeling lame again*

Between order and randomness..

melissaoon — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 15:49:56 +0000

Recently, I’ve noticed that I’ve fallen into some sort of routine..I do almost the exact same thing every single day..it’s like I’m reliving the same day all over again..it’s like I’m living in my own little bubble…it’s comfortable, safe…though, I know that someone will come and burst this bubble anytime now…it’s just a matter of time….today, a friend of mine told me something and it gave me the push I needed..she said that I should just do whatever job the comes my way and just take it one step at a time..somehow, I felt comforted by her words, less angry..I mean what percentage of people in the world actually have the perfect job? All i can do now is just do my best to find a job that will earn me just enough to make ends meet..the government has already started sending me letter to ask me to repay my student loans..I haven’t even got a job for crying out loud..sheesh..I’m trying to learn to live the moment and stop worrying about the future…It’s really difficult though..Fear of the unknown can really eat a person alive…I’m really obfuscated about myself..I don’t understand what the hell am I doing…I’m acting like a whiny little kid, complaining away…Don’t know why?It seems like I’m the only one who’s so freaking lost..All my friends, course mates, university mates have no problem finding jobs and they are very clear of the paths they should go..I wish I was like them..then I don’t have to sit here, typing some nonsensical stuffs on this pathetic blog..sigh..i really need to find me some human contact…should I call 1-800-RENT-A-FRIEND??? *runs to get the phone*

One of those days

melissaoon — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 15:29:39 +0000

you don’t feel like waking up..it’s like Garfield and monday except that it’s every single day for me..this past few weeks had been a drag..got nagged and nagged every single day..just because i’m about one month plus post-grad and still pathetically unemployed…it’s really frustrating and depressing at the same time…people make it seems like I’ve absolutely no intention to find a job..well, I did go for an interview last week..it went pretty well I would say..I got the job but then I had to turn it down because my parents don’t approve as it involves sales and sales..my mom says that I can’t do sales at all..I guess it’s true, the fact that I can’t even sell water to the fish..I guess financial consultant is the fancier term for sales agent..sigh..so now I’ve got another interview coming up which is force upon me by my parents..it’s a job in Alliance Bank..though I was adamant that I don’t want to work there I guess I don’t have much choice since my mom gave me the ‘look’ and the lecture-about-my-future and the got-job-just-do…job hunting really gets on my nerves…tempers were flaring…I pissed my mom off and she pissed me off..I just feel like shouting and punching someone in the face..punching the wall is no fun….so, that’s that..been feeling really angry these few days..God help me!! anyway, hopefully I’ll get a job soon so that I can stop feeling angry about everything and everybody…

Pest control!!!

melissaoon — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 15:35:22 +0000

aaaargh!!! how to get rid of all these pests..lately i’ve been plagued by all these human-shaped pests..be it mosquitoes, ants or cockroaches, all of them i can squish but human-pests are really hard to get rid of..ever since the news of my graduation got out, all those relatives of mine starts to become more annoying than usual..there’s a very thin line between being concern and being a nuisance…they kept on asking my mom about when am I going to look for a job? why still not working? everyday stay at home do what? all sorts of nonsensical questions..some even said that some people starts to find jobs even before they graduate..I am NOT some people..I’m Melissa freaking Oon one-of-a-kind…sheesh..this is borderline harassing…they kept on harassing my mom about my unemployment and make my mom angry then my mom will come and nag me…come on people, get a life…go harass someone else…i don’t need your unnecessary ‘concern’ here…as if i don’t have enough pressure to find a decent job asap…anyhoo…there’s a silver lining in this dark, gloomy clouds…i manage to get myself an interview this coming monday, the day before merdeka…hopefully i’ll get an actual reason to celebrate merdeka this year..hahaha…the interview is for a job as a financial consultant…not quite sure what the heck it is but hey, a job is still a job,right??especially since i’m kind of desperate now..need to find a job asap to stop the incessant nagging and harassing..so, really hope that i will get the job *fingers crossed* wish me luck:)

Scrrrreaammmssss!!!!

melissaoon — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 15:38:55 +0000

Why is there no those echo-y mountains in Malaysia where you can go and scream your lungs out and hear it echoes and all your troubles will go away??? Been feeling pretty messed up and all that’s going through my mind lately are these two words “I’m screwed, I’m screwed, I’m screwed”. It’s really pathetic..I’ve always thought that graduation is a joyous event worthy of some sort of celebration, but nay!!! instead, with graduation comes obligations..obligations that if you do not fulfill in about few days post-graduation, an apocalypse will occur..as most people may have already know, I’m the queen of procrastination and I’m probably related to the three-toed-sloth..yea, I’m THAT lazy…anyway, I’m still totally lost and have absolutely no sense of purpose in life..so I guess I’ll just gonna have to hide in the corner and start thinking about the near-future..also, I’m totally hopeless when it comes to human contact so it’s gonna be a ginormous task for me to look for jobs…sigh..the very thought of looking for jobs and going for interviews is totally freaking me out…like I said earlier, I’m totally screwed…now I’m yearning for the good old days where all I need to worry about is to pass the damn exams…I think that’s all for now..I’ll go continue my whining somewhere else ><

Let’s get it started (again)

melissaoon — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 13:40:30 +0000

hey..I can’t believe that I haven’t blog for 8 months..I blame facebook for that..I was innocently minding my own business until I was sucked into the time-wasting-blackhole called facebook..then I blame myself for getting addicted to the games on facebook..I know I’m lame..anyway, I have the sudden urge to start blogging again after reading one particularly awesome blog also, I seemed to like doing things that people had already stop doing..it seems many people have already deleted their blogs or stop blogging for the rest of their lives..wonder why?? so, here I am, back again by popular demand (who am I kidding).. time to revive the old bloggie here..I don’t actually have anything interesting/awesome/exciting/clever to write, I just wanna get this blog started again for my one and only reader and just warm up a bit..oh, I just graduate (yay!!) *round of applause* so you might just see my face all over Sitiawan..I think people are getting a little suspicious as to why is this girl in Sitiawan all the time doing nothing..haha..oh, I saw an ex-classmate of mine today..I kinda forget her name and she seems particularly surprise to see me (wonder why) so there were awkward smiles and we move on..okay, I guess I’ll stop boring people to death..until next time…

ps: anybody know anybody hiring in Sitiawan???? I’m forced to need me a job ><

Finally…

melissaoon — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 07:07:27 +0000

I feel gooood..nana-nana-nanana…got my exam result a week ago and it took a week for it to dawn on me that I ain’t dreaming..Finally..after a long long time, I manage to sail smoothly through the next semester..woohooo!!! Every single semester I went through four stages of depression..The first stage happens few weeks before exam, where last minute cramming took place..I would freak out and feel really depressed because there are too many things to study and memorise and there’s not enough time..the second stage is during the examination, in the examination hall..when I look at the exam papers, I would feel depressed and I would wanna bang my head against the wall because I can’t remember what I’ve studied for the pass few weeks and I couldn’t even answer the most simple question..the third stage happens few days before the result comes out..I would have nightmare about failing all my papers and the thought of getting stuck in Monash for a very very long time while everybody else graduates really really scares me..the fourth and the last stage happens when I check my results..I’ve always ALWAYS manage to fail a couple of papers for the past couple of semesters so every time I check my results I’ll always expect the worst and it doesn’t help to have a friend who just can’t wait to tell you that he pass every single paper..I was beginning to think that Monash is the place where dreams go to die..BUT..because of some HUGE miracle, I manage to pass all my papers this semester, my toughest semester…I was so freaking happy and my mum was happy too..she doesn’t need to hear any bad news this time..inner me was doing cartwheels cause the actual me can’t really do it..haha..and all I wanna do was EAT EAT EAT..haha:) The first thing my supportive and encouraging mum say is,”I think this time the standard is much lower and maybe they lower down the passing grade.” (thanks for the support,mum ;p) I may not be the brightest bulb around but a dim light is still a light:) Anyhow..now I’m feeling psych and I can’t wait for summer class to begin=D